Thursday, March 7

Sports Day

[We Heart It]
When I was in elementary school, near the end of the school year, we would have sports day.

If I remember correctly, none of the activities we did on sports day really classify as "sports" it was more like "go outside and be active" day, because, I mean, the parachute was one of the activities and there is nothing really sporty about making a giant mushroom and sitting inside of it for as long as you can.

We did have track though, and high jump. I have always been just above average height. Even in elementary school, I had just enough of a height advantage to give me that edge in high jump. That edge that won me those blue ribbons for second. I would have given anything to beat that girl for first. Anything. But no matter how much I practiced, I just could not jump like she could jump. The legs on that girl.

There are so many memories attached to sports day, and almost all of them are good.  I remember standing in line beside the big red slide, waiting for our turn in long jump, playing "mailman, mailman" and flirting with the boys. I remember how ridiculous we felt doing shot-put, how impossible it was to throw that stupid heavy ball, and how pointless. I remember skinning our knees out back after school practicing triple jump on the pavement because the steps were just so fun.

Those were the days of freedom. Of sunshine and shorts and dorky pink visors. No classrooms or lectures or desks. The days before cliques and "your" friends and "my" friends. We were just kids, and we knew more about the world and about how to love life and love people than most adults I know today.

To this day, when I smell sunscreen, I feel joy. It brings me back instantly to the overwhelming feeling of the freedom of sports day and everything that it represented.

Tuesday, March 5

This Girl Gets It.

"...with people, places and opportunities...whatever was forbidden and beautiful, I would want. The lesson in restraint is a hard one...harder for some than others. Harder when you see the potential, what those roses would look like on your bedside table, what that job would feel like in your schedule...what the man would snuggle like in your morning hair."

My Wandering Heart


"Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation." -Graham Greene [Thanks to Jill]

This is how I survive. I write it out. When life hands me moments in which I cannot focus on my own life. Moments which make me re-think the basis of everything I know to be true. Moments that make me so nervous that I have to detach myself from the conversation in order to survive it. Moments that are everything and nothing that I want them to be at the same time. I can't deal with them any other way. I've tried. I go for long pointless drives and just walk around on the railroad tracks. I talk for hours about every detail with my sister. I sleep and sleep and sleep some more, trying to give my dreams the opportunity to deal with it for me. But nothing works. Nothing processes my life like writing about it does. Nothing releases it the same way, so that I can come back to it and hear myself out.

I am finding it more and more essential to being who I am... this writing it all out thing.

Monday, March 4

Be Young

 I came across this article recently,

21 Ways You Should Take Advantage of Your Twenties

and I loved it so much I thought I would post it here, but with a few of my own adjustments.

1. Don’t feel the need to respond to every text message, phone call, and email the second it reaches you. Once upon a time, it took longer than a minute to reach someone. People used stamps and envelopes; they had answering machines they didn’t check for hours, sometimes days. No one will die if you don’t immediately respond to every message you receive.

2. Ask for what’s owed to you. Half the time, you’re not getting your needs met because you’re not making them known. Your employers, romantic interests, and friends are not going to read your mind and give you what you need unless you speak up.

3. Don't make up your mind before you need to. Be Confused. Allow yourself to not know the answers.

4. If you’re unhappy and someone offers you a way out, take it. You don’t owe your first job years of loyalty and your first-born; you don’t have to stay in your city just because you’re on a first-name basis with the bodega guy. Do what feels right; the initial fear will give way to excitement.

5. Take advantage of all the energy you have in your 20s. In your 30s and 40s, your body starts getting upset with you, when some 20-something babe is all, “Wanna race?” That’s not a concern when you’re in your 20s — don’t ever take it for granted.

6. Let your more successful friends pick up the check this time. Before you’re 30, it’s still okay to be work as a barista and not have your career path figured out. Save your cash and take up your lawyer-friend’s offer for dinner. Use the money you saved to buy more ramen.

7. Play a sport you played in elementary school. Kickball, dodgeball. There are leagues for these games now. Get on it.

8. Learn how to cook. Here’s an idea — instead of spending all your money on ridiculously marked-up restaurant food, save your money by buying non-processed WHOLE FOODS and LEARNING HOW TO MAKE A MEAL OF REAL FOOD. You’ll thank yourself for learning how to cook when your metabolism catches up to you.

9. Keep making friends. Everyone complains that it’s hard to make friends after college, but we still manage to find new people to flirt with and date, right? It’s not that hard. You know yourself better than you ever have before, and your friends can finally reflect that. Don’t cling to old friends because it’s too frightening or ‘risky’ to make new ones. [bam.]

10. Let your parents buy your plane ticket home. Vacations in your 20s can be hard to come by. Let them subsidize your trips home and do you as much as you can when you get there.

11. Stay up late. In your 20s, you’re all, “Let’s go to another bar!” “Who wants to eat at a diner?” “Have you guys seen the sun rise from the High Line?” “In this moment I swear we were infinite!” When you get older, this becomes, “What are you doing? Go home. Watch Parks and Rec and go to sleep. What is wrong with you, staying up all night? Who has time for that?” If you’re in your 20s, you do. You have all the time. Do it now and take advantage of how not tired you are. You think you’re crabby now when you stay up too late? You’ll never believe how terrible you feel when you do it in your 30s.

12. Fall in love fearlessly. Don't complicate things.

13. Indulge in diner/ fast food at 4 a.m. This is considered depressing behavior once you become a real adult.


15. Do ‘unacceptable’ things to your hair. Dye it. Dread it. Shave only the left side of your head and give a crap if it grows back in a flattering manner (hint: it won’t). There’s no time but now.

16. Be honest, all the time. There is no need to put on a show or hide your true feelings. This is the time to make mistakes and say too much, and be real with everyone.

17. Sit down, unplug, and read non-fiction. Do this daily. None of your peers are doing it. They’re playing video games and refreshing Facebook and Gmail chatting about nothing in particular. After a month you’ll be smarter than all of them.

18. Walk into Forever 21 and grab every single crappily-made floral dress available. Is every other girl on the street wearing it? Is it literally falling apart at the seams? Is it also actually five dollars? BUY IT IMMEDIATELY. When you get older, your clothing becomes all expensive blazers and tailored khakis and other pieces that won’t break while on your body. That will be a great day — the day when your closet starts to look respectable. Though those outfits are more expensive, they also last longer and look better on you. You will be a classy human ready to take on the future. But as long as you’re still in your 20s? You know — the demographic of Forever 21? Game on, stretchy black dress with pockets that lasts about a week. Game on.

19. Take road trips. Sitting in a car for days on end isn’t something your body was designed to do forever. And there is SO much you can learn from not being able to get away from people, or yourself for a while. Learn to cope, learn to chill.

20. Don’t invest in things like window curtains or throw rugs or… Windex. You’re a young, social person who doesn’t have time for things like picture-framing and broom-sweeping. No one actually expects you to maintain a bed skirt or a duvet cover in your 20s, they’re the home decor equivalent of puppies/ children.

21. Go to/host theme parties. Once people age out of their 20s, no one’s trying to wear pajamas or
Saran Wrap out of the house. The only theme parties that exist after your 20s are ‘Wedding,’ ‘Baby Shower,’ and ‘Funeral.’