Friday, February 22

Just Buy Me Flowers

I dont remember where I saw it, but somewhere I heard or read that "people think girls are complicated but we're not. Just buy us flowers and tell us we're pretty and we'll be happy." Immediately I agreed. Getting flowers is probably the best thing. And not because its cliche, or because society has trained me into thinking its romantic. It became cliche for a reason. Flowers are so beautiful and fragile and when someone goes to the trouble of bringing you these little temporary beauties just to say they care, just to say they're thinking of you, or they're sorry, its the best feeling. So I agreed. I can't be more complicated than that. I could be happy with that. But then I remebered. I'm not that simple. I'm a lunitic.

I am probably more complicated than I'll even admit to myself. I get so twisted in my head and in my heart. I don't even know what I want to hear, or how to fix something, or how to understand myself, let alone expect someone else to. I get crazy and I don't even know why. I try to convince myself to drop things. To just walk away before they become these huge crazy messes, which they will. It happens literally all the time. And I know it, and I know I'm doing it, but I can't make my self stop. I can't be simple. I can't just feel what I feel and know what I want and walk away from disasters. I'm complicated. and I'm accepting it. But flowers would be a start.

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