I keep having these unreal dreams. And so often when I wake up, I am excited and don't know why. Excited about life. Excited because of the small things. The little things that I forget about when I focus on the rain. The things that, when streamed together make up a beautiful life. The soul feeders. The things that come to mind when you just sit and listen to the ocean hitting the shore. My dreams have been reminding me about how big life is. I get so focused on the day to day, on the things that frustrate me or are out of my control. I need to remember that beautiful moments exist and that they make up for the rainy ones.
The other day I was at the beach in Bellingham with some of the most amazing people I know and my friend decided that she wanted to do suicides on the boardwalk. It didn't matter to her that she was wearing a skirt and toms, it didn't matter to her that she was holding a caramel macchiato. She wanted to, and so she did. It ended tragically but in the moments before, she was free and I admire that in her. Society has placed restrictions on our freedom in the form of appropriate behavior and fear of embarrassment but sometimes we need to just be free and enjoy being happy in the moment, and if it doesn't end the way we expect, we just get back up, and buy a new caramel macchiato.