Saturday, November 26

How To Make Your Hair Grow Faster, How To Find Love And The Other Ridiculous Thing We Google

Sometimes, when I fully intend to do homework, I get so sidetracked I don't even remember why I was on my computer to begin with. If I can avoid Youtube, I am usually safe. But sometimes, Google and and my overwhelming curiosity to know random things unite as an unbeatable force, promoting my procrastination

A Typical Night With Me And My Search Engine

Summary of post colonial text I don't understand
How much caffeine is too much caffeine
Caffeine overdose symptoms
Foods that keep you awake
How to make French Toast
Does French Toast come from France
The Eiffel Tower: images
How to forget about a boy

I never think about you, usually. But tonight, there you were. the thought of you was laced with regret, mostly. How much time I wasted, thinking about you, wanting you. It's been over for me for a while. but even the amount of time that has past isn't enough to heal me. Isn't enough to make me feel want-able. You took that from me. And I forgive you because you don't realize what you did.

I saw the new twilight movie tonight ... for the second time. The worst and best part about Breaking Dawn is how well they portrayed Jacobs emotions. His hurt. His loss. The unbearable way he wants Bella and how she most certainly does not want him back, but yet how she toys at his heart. Making him feel a lie. I have felt that lie. I clung to that lie for years. and I'm scared of life now that I have let go.

I thought about just crying it out, but then figured if I could debate doing it, it wasn't going to be worth it, because the best cry's come about suddenly and unexpected and cause you to hit your bed weeping in sobs so deep you feel as though the sheets are echoing your pain and swallowing you whole, or at least you hope they would. Those kind of cry's are reserved though, for true pain. not the bitter nostalgia you feel over the memories that the new twilight movie brought up. So I shrugged it off instead.

Thursday, November 24

Controversy is My Middle Name

In my children's literature class we are graded partially for our participation in class discussion. Now talking comes naturally to me. I like doing it, I am often found doing it, and I am often found doing it at inappropriate times. But when i comes to class, I just can't. I don't what it is, I'm not shy, I just do not feel like imputing my ideas during class. Our Prof made it very clear that if we were to participate in discussion after the group presentations she would SERIOUSLY take that into account when giving us our participation marks, making the groups feel good about themselves yada yada, so I go for it, I'm prepared. I decide today, that I will participate. I will say something! And what happens? A group presents on Coraline. Perfect. I already am very passionate about the movie, I saw it once. and I can feel my blood pumping as they declare that it is really good teaching material for children, as it teaches them that life is not all puppies and rainbows and that it can be hard, you know that allowing children to watch a movie with demonic chanting and creepy Satan-like characters and child soul saving and eye ball mutilating is showing them that the world is real. I was cut short due to the class ending right as I made my first point and I left in a furious state of mind. Go figure. The one time I have something to input and I can't even get 2 cents in. This movie is an abomination and "people" who declare that "when they brought it over to the house they were babysitting for and showed the children the movie without the parents consent, they loved it" should be imprisoned. If this is your defense then why beat around the bushes with it. Why don't we just show all kindergarten classes the entire saw series, that will show them that life is hard and scary and unsafe.

Sunday, November 20

Death is Tragedy, No Matter What Age

When somebody young dies, the community hurts for them, for their loss of opportunity, for their shortened destiny. We hurt for those that knew them, for their loss, for their suffering, for all the hours and days they will being missing them. We don't understand why it happens, we don't know how to respond. tragedy hits the unexpected. But when somebody old dies, we smile. We smile for the life they lived, for it's fullness. We celebrate the life they lived, though sometimes all we want to do is scream. Why is tragedy stripped away from the deaths of the elderly. Because it's expected? inevitable? I think these are the greatest tragedy's of all. To have know someone for so long that you can't fathom life without them, yet have to. For the person shaped hole they leave in the universe. The grandmother shaped hole, the father shaped hole, the mother shaped hole. They mean the world to somebody, but we don't treat it so. Labeling loss as inevitable is a tragedy of its own. It's important to smile when we remember them, to celebrate the life they lived, amidst the loss you feel, but its all tragic, maybe not to you, but to somebody.

Thursday, November 10

An Insight to My Night on We Heart It

Go check it out for yourself. Hours of "I should be doing homework" await you.