Friday, October 28

The Depths of Despair

In my children's literature class we have just finished reading and discussing Anne of Green Gables. I watched this movie with my family when I was little, but have never read the book until now. If that is the case for you, I highly recommend reading it. Technology is wonderful and I am growing quite fond of the presents it has given me, but it could never replace the joy found in immersing ones self in a hard cover book. Due to this recent rediscovery of a wonderful story, I watched the movie with my family again tonight and have fallen in love with Anne all over again. The best part about Anne is that she is extremely dramatic in every situation. When life sucks, it doesn't just suck. It doesn't matter if the horrible thing she is experiencing is the fear of being not wanted by anyone, the humiliation found in making unfair apologies, or in the embarrassment of a hair dye job gone green, she seems to associate all negative experiences with the depth of despair. And right now I am in the depths of despair.


Because I have short, short hair.

Due to a recent hair cut, my hair is the shortest it has been since grade 2 and the depths of despair have consumed me. I know I rant about long hair all the time, and about my inability to have it, but this was step one. Cutting off the hair I have betrayed. apologizing to it and making amends. I now have laid down the frame work for a growing process and long hair I will have. but until then, for this next little while of short, short hair, I am going to sulk, and I am going to complain, and I promise not to do it here.

(my right hand is in the air)

The next time you hear about my hair, it will be accompanied with a photograph of me and my gloriously lengthy locks. I can hardly wait.

Until then, I thought that rather than tormenting myself with photographs of beautiful girls with beautiful long hair, I would embrace this stage in the process with adorable photos of short hairs beauties.

I feel better already

Wednesday, October 26

I'll Answer

There's a river outside my window.
Not of water, or currents, or smooth rocks
Its a river of lights.
Coming and going.
Red and white.
A two-way flow on the hill at the edge of town.
It's off in the distance, and if you don't pay attention, you might not notice it through the trees.
But if you look close enough you can almost see them.
See their glazed over eyes,
and the way they face-swallow-yawn with no restraints.
See their stained coffee mugs with its warm addiction steaming up their glasses as they try see with their heads tilted back.
It's morning again
And life is calling

Monday, October 24

Imaginations Run Away With Us

She longed for the days when she dreamed about growing up

when her imagination filled her future

with possibilities

and what was about to be

back then it was simple

she was going to be free when she grew up

things are different now

It's not worse, or less amazing,

Just so different

That it is taking her a while to get used to the idea

of reality

Tuesday, October 18

To Love Like This

Lately I have been watching a lot of Gossip Girl. Really I should be doing school readings, really I should be doing school papers, really I shouldn't be watching Gossip Girl. But I am and what it has made me realize is how typical I am. I want to resist. I don't want to be a typical girl, longing for love. But yet i get excited for and cry with Chuck and Blair as they go through the dramatics of their relationship. I mean they are not even real people, but I have let the music and acting manipulate me into thinking they are and I have been hurting with them and laughing with them and longing with them. 

Its quite the situation. 

I came across this post of one of my favourite bloggers and I'll let it manipulate your consciousness with what could be, the way it did mine :

“You’re one of the best things about my day. Every single day. I hate sleeping because I miss you even in my dreams. I love that you let me be myself, and it makes me want to be better. Everything about you causes me crush to even harder. And I’m already crushing REALLY hard. I’m mad at all the years where I didn’t know you. Your heart makes mine race. Your mind excites me more than I can explain. Your bum makes me forget my phone number. And even though you’re the sloppiest cook in the history of preparing food… you are, by far, my favourite.”
He gives her a gentle forehead to forehead bump.
“And don’t you forget it,” he adds."

Wednesday, October 5

Give It A Chance

This is my new motto.
I am so closed minded sometimes.
I turn things down, or judge them before I even understand them.
I could be missing out
who knows.
I am starting right now, with this music.
Somebody said it was good
Somebody had another thing coming for them
but ill keep it on
who knows
Maybe the ending will blow my mind
I'll never know if me and my closed mind decide that we are happy together and don't need anybody else