Saturday, June 18

And Still You Force Yourself To Go To Places That You Think You Belong, But You're Wrong


Our hearts are a funny thing aren't they. They never know what they want.

I used to think I knew what I wanted.

Until I saw glimpses of what I wanted in the hearts of people I don't admire, and different glimpses in the people I do.

Now I know nothing about my heart.

I think I know what it doesn't want

and I know only pieces of what God wants for it
sometimes I feel untitled to know everything
and that he feels like I need to know nothing

sometimes I feel lost in emotion so strong I don't know what to do with myself.

I blame that on my heart.

And sometimes I cry too often.

I blame that on my mothers genes

But then I take it back because I love her too much

I want to have a fearless heart.

I want to be able to jump off of cliffs without being able to guarantee whats at the bottom, for the time spent in the air is worth it.

Unafraid of vulnerability, with discretion

But I know better, for I may not know much about love, but I know plenty about heartbreak.

and it makes me want to close off everything and never come out again

There are reasons for why we hide our emotions or never tell the full truth.

you hold back for just long enough to make sure they care enough to see everything

but they never do

people never do, for they can't

they never were meant to

He was.

and so I tend to stay in my corner, expecting you to stay in yours

and life goes on

but then i see a sky line at dusk or hear a song from a nobody singer that no one has heard of

and for just a brief moment my heart longs to come out again