Saturday, June 18
Our hearts are a funny thing aren't they. They never know what they want.
I used to think I knew what I wanted.
Until I saw glimpses of what I wanted in the hearts of people I don't admire, and different glimpses in the people I do.
Now I know nothing about my heart.
I think I know what it doesn't want
and I know only pieces of what God wants for it
sometimes I feel untitled to know everything
and that he feels like I need to know nothing
sometimes I feel lost in emotion so strong I don't know what to do with myself.
I blame that on my heart.
And sometimes I cry too often.
I blame that on my mothers genes
But then I take it back because I love her too much
I want to have a fearless heart.
I want to be able to jump off of cliffs without being able to guarantee whats at the bottom, for the time spent in the air is worth it.
Unafraid of vulnerability, with discretion
But I know better, for I may not know much about love, but I know plenty about heartbreak.
and it makes me want to close off everything and never come out again
There are reasons for why we hide our emotions or never tell the full truth.
you hold back for just long enough to make sure they care enough to see everything
but they never do
people never do, for they can't
they never were meant to
and so I tend to stay in my corner, expecting you to stay in yours
and life goes on
but then i see a sky line at dusk or hear a song from a nobody singer that no one has heard of
and for just a brief moment my heart longs to come out again