Wednesday, January 26

No No, You Should Be Scared, A Homeless Man Tried To Eat You

January 29th.
The birds are chirping. Not winter birds. Not those ones that you see on the tree in the middle of a blizzard enjoying a nice frozen dead berry that you assume are out of their minds. Not those troopers. The spring birds. The ones that wake you up in the morning because the evening was so warm that you left your window open, making the blankets feel even more snugly as they trap in the warm air while your nose gets cold. The ones that are either accompanied by morning sunshine. [which is the best kind] or by morning fog [the kind that tells you it's going to be a beautiful day] The ones that bring chills to your spine and a smile to your face no matter how hard you resist because they tell memories of those good kinds of wake ups. Those birds. The ones that should not be here yet. I know that I have complained about the snow, and declared my love for it over because the roads are crap and my carport is gone and I'm worried that soon I will get old and will no longer be able to see the fun in everyday being a snow day. But then the afternoon after the snow punched out my carport we had the largest and most fun 2 and a half hour long snowball fight and I was starting to realize how enjoyable these last 2 months of snow could be. Now the birds are out, and the roads are wet and it has been raining for days. RAINING. IN JANUARY. First we get over 10 feet of snow in 3 days then it rains like the second flood. This weird weather crap makes me think anything is possible these days. Flowers in February. Swimming in the lake in March. Snowmen in April. Zombie Apocalypse in May.

Monday, January 24

These Dreams Are Being Unfair To My Heart

"She was unwilling to go to bed, lest her dreams that had lately pursued her should return; and determined to sit up till she found herself oppressed by sleep, when it was probable her rest would be profound"
-Ann Rdcliffe

Thursday, January 20

Wednesday, January 19

I Still Remember The Look On Your Face

How can love so true, so passionate, and so perfect, be based on lies, be broken. I dont understand people. I feel so completely disconnected with our society. That we can be so corrupt. so hurtful. How can one human being set out to purposefully destroy another. How can we be okay with it. hurting each other.

Love hurts. We all know it going in, but we never expect it to hurt so much. Not our love. Not when it feels so right.

The unthinkable has happened. To the least deserving.

I am speechlessly hurting for you.

Monday, January 17

Not Leaving The House Till Spring

I loved the snow and it loved me. But that was before. before it snowed 2 feet overnight. before i was literally stuck in my driveway all weekend. before my city sold all its snow plows on ebay. Before i got stuck trying to get down the street. 5 times. Before snow showed me who's boss.

friends off.

Wednesday, January 12

Tights Affair

When I was younger, I was a fashion hipster. I wore what I wanted and I didn't care what anyone thought. I was too young to believe into the lies that our culture feeds us that what others think about us defines who we are. I had outfits that the worlds top designers couldn't put together. Or wouldn't due to closed minds and a fear of judgment. My favourite thing was tights. Sometimes on my head, as hair, but mostly on my legs where they belong.

That polka dots shirt was the

Panty lines were in, ask anybody

Now my love affair with tights has come back to me in a sudden wind and I cannot get them off my mind. And I wouldn't want to.

Saturday, January 8

Freedom Is Being Without The Things You Crave And Being Ok With It

We all know the story about the girl who falls in love with the boy who is in love with her.

this is not that story.

This is about a girl who is still hung up on him. Regardless of the hundreds of times it was decided that it did not make sense. About the other ones, who have come and gone in between, how nothing can seem to make her forget.
He is not into her. He never was. And she knows that. But it doesn't change anything. The heart wants what the heart wants. And shes not sure what hers wants anymore.
Except to be free from his grasp. To not care what side of the room he's on. To not care if their conversation was short. or if she made him smile. Because she usually did. But it changed nothing.
He leads her on and he knows it, as clearly as she does. hes a flirt and even though it would be easier if he wasn't. easier to accept that he wasn't into her. she could never wish him to stop.
Finding distance is the hard part.
Accepting the end and distinguishing the hope
that's the hardest part.

saying hello to goodbye.
That story.

The title of this post is a lyric out of a boy named Derek's song. I didn't mean to steal it. It is just so very lovely.