Tuesday, November 16

Your Furture is Unfriendly


I haven't been blogging much lately, partly because of a small voice in the back of my head telling me that it's lame. Foolish little voice knows Nothing. But mostly because I don't have internet at my house, Again, making it near impossible to get anything done, aside from the homework I have procrastinated past the acceptable point, drenching it in priority.

Now my internet troubles in Surrey were puppies compared to what is going down in my house this pre-winter season. To begin, telus is being a bad word. We signed up for internet nearing the end of September and I have yet to get the little green DLS and Internet lights on the cheap little modem to light up. We have been on the phone with a variety of unqualified telus employees who work at call centers in a variety of countries that are far the hell away and it has been a month and 16 days after signing up, and still nothing.

After first signing up and not having internet by the date they gave us, we called them and they told us to get our landlord, the telus account holder, (like I'd ever have one of those. dreamers.) to call them. So she called them, and they said it would be running in 2 to 4 days. Then a week went by and, nothing. So we called them, they told us to get our landlord to call because even though she put me and my roommates names on the account AND gave us the account numbers and codes and secret knock, they STILL had no record of it and could not deal with us due to company policy. So she called them again and they said it would be hooked up in 2 to 4 days and then another week went by and nothing. And so we called them and ensured them we are on the account and gave them the secret handshake over the phone and make quite the fools out of our selves talking to people who barely know English and who keep going on about how our "odour" will have to be hooked up manually but that they need to speak to our landlord about this "odour" because we are not on the account and so apparently we smell and I need them to invent a device where you can stick your hand into the phone and strangle "tech support" because I'm too impatient for this.

Yesterday, my landlord came over and we called them, on speakerphone, together so we could put and end to the loop and apparently all of Vietnam is against us on this one because we were on hold for 45 minuets before a representative was done playing checkers with herself so we could speak to her and then after explaining to her the loop in the nicest way possible she put us on hold for another 35 minuets of popular hit radio to check something about the account with customer service at which point we hung up on them because we have lives and had places to be. It's like they don't want customers. It would make sense for this to have been the end of my events with telus that evening, and it would have been if the phone hadn't of rung right as I was walking out the door and I hadn't of been an idiot and answered it. Little old telus was on the phone CALLING US BACK, cuz that sort of thing happens everyday, to let us know that a technician was going to be coming to the house about a million light years away from now to check our phone lines to make sure they work, because apparently you cant have internet with out a phone line, who knew. What do they think we were talking to them on, a soup can and a string? But no big deal, it's not like I have anything better to do. Not like I have mounds upon mounds of research and homework to be done that I can't do at home while waiting for the technician because of what ladies and gentlemen, oh right, a lack of internet. No I have to go to Starbucks and use my life savings on coffee due to the obligation of making a purchase to sit inside, even though once it was so full that I had to sit outside, in the freezing cold to do my home work because I am THAT dedicated. And its not like I can do my research at the school because I am a student and am too cheap to spend the extra gas it takes to chug my little car up University hill to use the library on top of the days i haul my ass up there for class. Nope, I have all the time in the world to wait around at home, to make sure I am there to let the technician in to check our cords and make sure that we can read instructions and don't have the phone cable plugged into our coffee machine. All I can say is that technician had better be smokin hot because other wise, I'm switching to Shaw.

1 comment:

ihavenorhythm said...

I miss your blogs. A lot.
Almost as much as I miss you.

Oh, and telus guys are never hot. It's the sad, sad truth.