Saturday, May 22
Today was bad. I was emotional and tired and felt guilty for wasting my only day off feeling bad the whole time. I was overwhelmed and felt helpless. Then I took a bath. Now I feel 100%. I feel on top of the world. I feel like I can do anything and overcome all my fears. Its amazing what pruney fingers and a little time with God can do to a person.
Thursday, May 20
Today is going to be hard. And i don't mean hard in the, thursdays are normally my day off and with every customer I restrain from smashing in the head with the P.O.S. machine I will be dreaming of doing enjoyable things, like laundry, way. I mean the its time to step in obedience and act my age way. "But God it sooo fun to be seven and not listen and not need an excuse". She pathetically moaned at the thought of getting out of bed and enduring today.
Monday, May 17
The sun rises over the flat prairie land and anticipation is in the air. The grass sways as the dust from the last truck settles back into its place along the dirt road. The day came. Even though there were points in which it felt it never would. Here, with the balloons tied to the end of the row, the wind comes to a still. not even the ribbons on the programs are being moved. This is it. Time for love.
Monday, May 10
The sun still comes up in the morning. and when it does, when I see it come over the mountain and burst into the sky as if it had never been down, it makes me believe that it's possible for me to do as well.
I haven't been myself lately. At least I don't think I have. A part of me is beginning to feel like this is who I really am. It is when I feel most alive. You know, the being able to feel my heart beating all day long as if it were pounding a hole through my chest kind of alive. Similar to that of your heart after a long sprint, with a tint of heart break. I don't like to admit it, but I miss it when it's gone. Not a normal thing to miss, but it makes me feel God stronger. He is more real to me than ever when I'm being "myself" you could say.
He always knows how to get my attention, he's clever like that.